Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He winked and said, "You must've been quite a kid!"
When I got married & went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I want a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets, "But you don't understand." I said "I had hope to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife & I separated, we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog. I said, " Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, " The courtroom isn't a confessional, stick to the case please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case comes up this Friday!